So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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