We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
