I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I am available for nakedness
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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