pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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