Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
