I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
