dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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