Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
