I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
