think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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