We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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