...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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