I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
