I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
