he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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