Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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