The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
