So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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