She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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