dude i'm inner monologue high
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
