Don't you send me to vm
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize