guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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