you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
