yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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