i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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