when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
