I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
