You work out of a Hotel?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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