He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
