He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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