I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
ok first of all what the fuck
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
