I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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