But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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