I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
