He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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