Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
