You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
