Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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