So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
