OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
