Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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