At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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