I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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