Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
