the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
