please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
