she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
