didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have demons in me.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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