So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
