I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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