you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
