I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
