id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
