either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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