The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
3pm strippers are depressing
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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