I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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