Taylor Swift is so right about you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
