well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
