She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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