i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
