38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Too much gin, very little bucket
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
